30 Sketches in 30 days: #1--"Boring Apocalypse"

So apparently it's National Sketch Writing month, according to a website that is designed exclusively to promote National Sketch Writing month.

Seriously


So here is my first sketch, "Boring Apocalypse"



INT. APARTMENT

MIKE and JAMES sit in an apartment sometime following the
apocalypse. They're each just sitting on couches staring at a
blank TV. There is a pile of guns on the table in between
them.

JAMES
This apocalypse sucks

MIKE
Hey man, we should just be happy to
be alive. No need to dwell on
what's not going well. You should
focus on the positive things in
your life right now

JAMES
Oh yeah? Like what?

MIKE
Like the fact that we haven't had a
serious zombie attack in more than
24 hours. Maybe this whole thing
is subsiding.

JAMES
Yeah but that last attack they got
Eric and Joan. Now we're on our
own.

MIKE
Hey, that just means that the food
will last longer so we have a
better chance of survival.

JAMES
Ugh. Were you this annoying before
the apocalypse?

MIKE
Listen, I know that this situation
sucks but there is no reason to be
so negative about everything. I
figure we're stuck here, we might
as well make the best of it. Why
don't we play a board game?

JAMES
No, I don't want to play a board
game.

MIKE
C'mon, I saw a bunch in the back
room. Whoever lived here before
must have had kids or maybe they
were one of those crazy couples
that had game nights with other
couples every Wednesday.

James looks even more annoyed and rolls his eyes. Meanwhile
Mike takes the initiative and gets up to go look at the board
games. He calls out different games from the back room.

JAMES
I'm not playing a stupid game man.
If anything we should spend our
time trying to figure out ways to
survive.

MIKE
Tap water is still running and we
have a month's worth of food.
We're fine. How about Monopoly?

JAMES
No

MIKE
Risk?

JAMES
No

MIKE
Parcheesee

JAMES
No

MIKE
Life?

JAMES
Fuck it! I can't take this shit
anymore! I'd rather be out there
with the zombies than in here with
you!

James gets up and starts to walk out the door.

MIKE
Jesus man. You'll die out there!

JAMES
I don't care anymore. I'm dying in
here too.

James leaves. Mike yells at him through the door.

MIKE
Don't even think about coming back
here! I'm locking the door and
you'll never get back in!

James doesn't respond, he just keeps on walking. Mike takes
a deep breath and collects himself. Then he reaches under
the couch cushion and pulls out a Hustler magazine and starts
to unbuckle his pants.

MIKE (CONT'D)
Thank God, I thought I'd never get
him to leave